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More Ways to
De-Stress and Escape the Rat Race!
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GOOD "WISCONSIN" JOKES DARE
HEY.......
If you consider it a
sport to gather your food by
drilling through 18 inches
of ice and sitting there all
day hoping that the food
will swim
by, you might live in
Wisconsin.
If you're proud that your
region makes the national
news 96 nights each year
because International Falls
is the coldest spot in the
nation,
you might live in
Wisconsin.
If you have ever refused to
buy something because it's
"too spendy,"
you might live in
Wisconsin.
If your local Dairy Queen is
closed from November through
March, you might live in
Wisconsin.
If you instinctively walk
like a penguin for five
months out of the year, you
might live in Wisconsin.
If someone in a store offers
you assistance, and they
don't work there, you
might live in
Wisconsin.
If your dad's suntan stops
at a line curving around the
middle of his forehead, you
might live in Wisconsin.
If you may not have actually
eaten it, but you have heard
of Lutefisk, you might live
in Wisconsin.
If you have worn shorts and
a parka at the same time,
you might live in Wisconsin.
If you have either a pet or
a child named "Brett", you
might live in Wisconsin.
If your town has an equal
number of bars and churches,
you might live in Wisconsin.
If you have had a lengthy
telephone conversation with
someone who dialed
a wrong number, you
might live in Wisconsin.
If you know how to say
Oconomowoc, Waukesha,
Menomonie & Manitowoc, you
might live in Wisconsin.
If you think that ketchup is
a little too spicy, you
might live in Wisconsin.
If every time you see
moonlight on a lake, you
think of a dancing bear,
and you sing gently,
"From the land of sky-blue
waters, ....you
might live
in Wisconsin.
Series II.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE
WISCONSINITE WHEN...
1. Your idea of a traffic
jam is ten cars waiting to
pass a tractor on the
highway.
2. "Vacation" means going up
north past Hwy 8 for the
weekend.
3. You measure distance in
hours.
4. You know several people
who have hit deer more than
once.
5. You often switch from
"heat" to "A/C" in the same
day and back again.
6. Your whole family wears
Packer Green to church on
Sunday.
7. You can drive 65 mph
through 2 feet of snow
during a raging blizzard,
without flinching.
8. You see people wearing
camouflage at social events.
(including weddings)
9. You install security
lights on your house and
garage and leave both
unlocked.
10. You think of the major
food groups as beer, fish,
and venison.
11. You carry jumper cables
in your car and your
girlfriend knows how to use
them.
12. There are 7 empty cars
running in the parking lot
at Mill's Fleet Farm at any
given time.
13. You design your kid's
Halloween costume to fit
over a snowsuit.
14. Driving is better in the
winter because the potholes
are filled with snow.
15. You refer to the Packers
as "WE."
16. You know all 4 seasons:
almost winter, winter, still
winter and road
construction.
17. You can identify a
southern or eastern accent.
18. You have no problem
pronouncing Lac Du Flambeau.
19. You consider Minneapolis
exotic.
20. You know how to polka.
21. Your idea of creative
landscaping is a statue of a
deer next to your blue
spruce.
22. You were unaware that
there is a legal drinking
age.
23. Down South to you means
Chicago.
24. A brat is something you
eat.
25. Your neighbor throws a
party to celebrate his new
pole shed.
26. You go out to fish fry
every Friday night.
27. Your 4th of July picnic
was moved indoors due to
frost.
28. You have more miles on
your snow blower than your
car.
29. You find 0 degrees "a
little chilly."
30. You actually understand
these jokes, and you forward
them to all your Wisconsin
friends.
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